Turn and Receive

Trinity Episcopal Church 

Sunday, October 20, 2019     

Lectionary: Genesis 32:22-31, Psalm 121, 2 Timothy 3:14-4:5, Luke 18:1-8

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”

Many years ago (when I was still but a young lad), I attended a large Church youth event called “Youthquake.”

Although the name of the event sounds a bit silly (and one can only imagine how silly it sounded to middle schoolers), this annual youth event on the side of a mountain in North Carolina did allow me to deepen my faith as a new convert.

For the most part it consisted of guitars and drums and smoke machines and a worship band playing some powerful come-to-Jesus songs (fresh off of their latest album of course). But these too helped me approach the Mystery of Christ as a young man - to know the ineffable the Mystery of God’s Love.

I didn’t have any fancy theological terms for it at the time, but I knew that the

Spirit of God moved in the hearts of all who were gathered in that place. I knew that God was Love, and I knew that I was loved. That every single person in that vast auditorium, with hands held high in praise --- was loved.

I knew that the Love of God extended out across the earth, across the entirety of our cosmos - a wave of Love that had brought a universe to life.

And, of course, when I came down from that mountain, I felt full of the fire of the Holy Spirit. For a few weeks or months I would talk openly about my faith experience - about the powerful ways in which I had seen and known the Power of the God who-is-Love.

But after a time, the fire would cool.

I would become distracted by the concerns and hormones that come with adolescent life.

I knew that the Love of God was still there, most of the time; but through the changes and chances of this life it became easier and easier to forget that mountain-top experience. That moment in time when I knew that I dwelt in the Heart of God’s Love.

It became distant - a memory. And life went on.

But did God change?  In retrospect, I would argue, that even when we forget those moments of rapture (or even when we just don’t experience them) God is still there, showering us with Divine Love, flooding this world with the Fire of the Holy Spirit.

It’s just a matter of turning around to see and accept it.

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”

I attended Youth-Quake several times as an adolescent, but now all of those experiences run together: Being on a mountain-top, surrounded by hundreds of people my age. Hands lifted high in prayer.

And we shouted out our Love for Christ on that Mountain

We listened, quite seriously, for that Word of God - Christ shouting back God’s Eternal Love for us.

I do, however, remember a time when (for some reason or another), I felt completely inadequate - Unworthy of this Love that I had done nothing to earn.

I don’t remember exactly what I was struggling with at that time, but I remember it feeling like a weight in the core of my being.  I was wrestling with something.

I remember going up into the balconies of the auditorium which by this time had mostly cleared out.  There were some prayer stations that had been set up downstairs, but I felt the need to engage this particular prayer, whatever it was, alone.

I sat down, and bent over in a posture of prayer… and I prayed.

I prayed for God to take away whatever it was that was weighing on me.

I prayed that I might feel God’s Love always, accept it into my life, to know it always.

I prayed that I might actually live into the life that Christ has set before us as his would-be disciples: that we might actually love others as he loved.

I prayed that I might actually be worthy of God’s Love.

“Lord Jesus Christ Son of God, Have mercy on me a sinner.”

Then suddenly, a voice:

“Hey there,” he said. “It seems like you’re wrestling with something. Mind if I sit and pray with you?”

It was another young man, about my age - maybe a little bit older- Quite attractive, though I had never seen him before. It was a big conference, after all, so that made sense.

So I scooted over on the bench, he sat down next to me, and we prayed. We prayed for a good long while; sometimes there were words, sometimes there was only silence.  Spiritual sighs too deep for words.

I don’t remember the words of our prayer, but I walked away from that experience once more knowing the Love of God.

A love that I was not worthy to receive, because I had done nothing to receive it. And yet, there it was.

I was simply (and truly) Loved.

It was God’s prerogative to Love First, because God is Love - And frankly, there was nothing this teenager from the Midwest could do to Change God’s mind about the matter.

I never saw that other young man again, nor do I even know his name; but he saw me wrestling with my own acceptance of God’s Love, and he wrestled with me.

He blessed me that day, and he deepened my faith.

“Lord Jesus Christ Son and Word of the Father, have mercy on me a sinner.

This short prayer which I have been repeating was also first taught to me at Youth Quake. It is an ancient prayer known simply as the Jesus Prayer.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on me a sinner.

Now, I get that in some Christian circles, the word “Sinner,” and it’s sometimes twin word, “Repentance,” have almost become dirty words because of the baggage they carry.

But they also make sense, particularly within this theme of recollection.

The word sin, when thought of in the original Greek (Hamartia) means “missing one’s mark” - Like when an archer misses their target.

As human beings, caught up in this world of distractions and change and chance, we are often far more likely to miss our mark then we are to find it.  I know I can say that honestly about myself.

The word “Repent,” again when thought of in the Greek (Metanoia), means to “turn around” or to change one’s way. Like when you walk into one room and realize you’ve forgotten something, so you turn around and go back.

The Mystery of Christ establishes among us the fullness of God’s Mercy (itself coming from the Hebrew idea of Chesed, God’s Loving-Kindness).

So when one prays:

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”

We’re only appealing to Christ to do what he has already said he would do, is doing, and will always do.

We ask the One who is the expression of God’s Love to show us God’s Loving-Kindness, in spite of our missteps and shortcomings. It is God’s Divine Prerogative to Love, after all, our call is simply to turn and see it - to accept it.

The Jesus Prayer, like the Hail Mary’s of a Rosary, is meant to be repeated, over and over.  And when the mind inevitably wanders away, the person praying notices it and simply makes an effort to turn back to their inward posture of prayer:

           

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”

One can breathe this prayer.

One can insert this practice of repetition into any portion of the day. Saying it either aloud or only to oneself.

Are we asking Christ to have mercy on our miserable selves over and over as if we need to convince God to actually like us?

Of course not.

Through the love of Christ Jesus we know (we’ve seen), that God is already pouring out Christ’s Spirit of Love upon us. The Fullness of God’s Love is already there and is attempting to break through our defenses.

Prayers like the Jesus Prayer allow us (by the Grace of God) to make a willful act of turning back to the unmerited Love of Christ - no matter our circumstance at the time.

The unrighteous judge in today’s parable needed to be constantly harassed - to be annoyed - into submission before he would grant justice to the poor widow.

Jesus Asks:

“Will not God grant justice to his chosen ones who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long in helping them?”

God already desires mercy, already showers us with loving kindness though we ourselves have done nothing to merit such Love. When we, like the poor widow, constantly return again and again to seek the Love of Christ, it’s not because we need to convince God of anything - God has already made up God’s mind.

But that act of constantly returning - of constantly recollecting God’s Love for us and God’s desire that we be made whole and grow into the full stature of Christ…

It doesn’t change God - It changes us.

It habituates us to the reality that God is always there, showering us in Love.

If only we would stop wrestling with our inadequacies and actually turn around, put out our hands, and receive the Love and the Wholeness that Christ is offering to us.

Lord Jesus Christ have mercy upon us.

Show us your Loving Kindness,

the love that you have for us,

the Love that we ourselves did nothing to deserve.

And though we fall short, give us the grace to show your love in this world.

Give us the Spirit of your mercy.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son and Word of the Father, have mercy on us.